Monday, May 5, 2008


Your not alone! There Is Hope! 

What is Domestic violence?
Domestic violence is emotional, mental, physical, sexual or verbal abuse in an intimate relationship.

When should I call?

does your loved one:

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Act jealous or possessive?
Put you down or criticize you?
Try to control where you go, what you wear or what you do?
Text or IM [call] you excessively?
Blame you for the hurtful things they say and do?
Threaten to kill or hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
Try to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
Try to force you to have sex before you're ready?
Do they hit, slap, push or kick you?

More REDFLAGS = Signs of abuse
If you said yes to even one, you are most likely in an abusive relationship.

Contact us by phone at 1-866-331-9474(1-866-331-8453 TTY) or chat online from 4pm - 2am CST. from Love is Respect

"If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224." from NDVH

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence # 1-800-333-SAFE

Friends of abused Wives, FL

Often the abuser threatens suicide or to harm others. These type of threats should be reported immediately to your local law enforcement or call 911. For suicidal threats call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800- 273-8255

Understanding Emotional Abuse
"Are you aware that there are 21 forms of abuse? Some forms of abuse are so subtle that people accept them as normal. All forms of abuse are devastating and destroy individuals and their relationships." *

Understanding Verbal Abuse
Definition: "Any communication, admonition, reprimand, or reproof that does not uplift, edify, or bring conflict resolution." *

Understanding Physical Abuse
Definition: "Any touch not given in love, respect, and dignity." *

The part of the above article on physical abuse that I DO NOT agree with for every situation is where it states "Tell him, “Either we get counseling, or I’m moving out until you’re ready to help me resolve this problem.” " In some cases the spouse will kill or try to kill the person(s) before they 'allow' them to leave/move out!

If you or your children feel in danger of physical harm IN ANY WAY then LEAVE NOW or as soon as is safe to do so!!! By speaking with a health care professional or law enforcement you should be given the proper resources & directed to people who can help. If your partner is in law enforcement or has ways of finding out info & you do not trust the local authorities some ideas are: Have several 1-800 helpline #s memorized or hidden, use a payphone or business/church phone so as not to be traced, travel light & as fast as safely possible, get to a safe house. Before reestablishing a relationship, be sure you & your children are in a safe place (that your spouse does NOT know about).

I do agree with this part, but only if you feel you have time, with out endangering anyone:
"Lay your plans, line up your resources, and make your arrangements prior to packing your bags and walking out the door."

Helpful site - FREE Resources

Church leadership response to a believer who is abusive:

"Psalm 140:1-4 says "Rescue me from evil and violent men" and in Proverbs 4: l4-17 it says "Don't walk in the way of evil men for they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence". Also Ephesians 4, Colossians 3, and I Corinthians 5:9-l3, all refers to abuse, whether verbal or physical. These passages especially refer to verbal abuse, as wickedness and evil and not characteristic of a changed Spirit-filled life. So the first step a pastor must do is to recognize abuse as EVIL and SINFUL and in no way justified, or excused. Therefore that being true what do the scriptures call us to do when we encounter evil and wickedness, especially among so called Christians?" to finish this article click here

Matthew 18:15-17
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

Matthew 25:40 Whenever you helped someone who was overlooked or ignored, that was me –you did it to me.

Life Skills International — This organization works to end domestic violence by working with both the batterer and the victim to break the cycle of violence.

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